Home + Work: What Melinda Gates taught me about being brave

Over the past year or so, I’ve become more into listening to audiobooks, especially when the author narrates them. I’ve always been an analog book person, preferring the feel of paper and the sound of a cracking spine to anything that involves more screen time. But, if I slip my phone in my fanny pack where I can’t see it and pop in some headphones, I’ve found audiobooks to be a great way to give my brain something to chew on while I walk, wash dishes or manage our family’s endless laundry. 

This past month, I listened to The Next Day, Melinda Gates’ new book. It took just under four hours and three long walks for me to listen to it in its entirety, and I often found myself either nodding or weeping. (Note: Check your local bookstore for availability.)

And while you may resonate with different parts of the book than I did, there were a few things that stood out to me from Melinda’s life that made me feel so seen — as a mom, a woman and an achiever. The book felt like this column on steroids. 

So, what stood out?

Even at the beginning of her career, Melinda took time for herself—during the workday: Melinda joined Microsoft in its infancy, when it was in full startup mode, and every day she and a coworker went out on a run. No one gave her permission to do that. She just did it, and she didn’t let the work or a boss talk her out of it. As a person who graduated in the 2008 recession, I was so grateful to have a job at all that I wouldn’t dare advocate for myself, especially with a midday workout! My life looks a lot different now, but I think I needed to hear Melinda tell that small story because, to me, it was a big deal. It was boss energy before becoming the boss. 

With her kids, Melinda celebrates the little things: Particularly when her kids were small, birthdays always included bedrooms filled with balloons and dinner menus chosen by each birthday babe. These are the memories her kids still reference. Both of my kids were born in May, so I took Melinda’s rituals to heart. My kids loved it, especially when I took them to choose their birthday balloons, and we partied multiple times throughout the month (Mother’s Day had a little moment in there, too). 

It’s all about relationships: Melinda tells stories about some of her most powerful friendships, how they’ve supported each other for decades and through all the things, reinforcing my sense that family is built through connection, deep love and quality time. 

Melinda chooses her integrity over everything: This part I won’t spoil, but if you’ve kept up with Bill and Melinda the past few years, you’ll know what I’m talking about. 

At this point in my life and career, I don’t have many IRL (in real life) mentors. I’ve found them through books and well-known high achievers. I seek them out like a mosquito to my bare skin in the summer. 

Carving your own path isn’t for the faint of heart, especially when you don’t have a ton of models for it. Even Melinda didn’t go out on her own until recently, which is probably part of why I loved her book so much. She has done the deep personal work. She tried a lot of things. She has chosen to be brave. 

Every day, I make the same choice. I take a deep breath, get my kids off to school and try to figure out how to move my businesses, family and life forward. 

And if I ever run into Melinda, I’ll thank her for paving the way.

Whitney Popa is a writer, editor and consultant for little companies with big dreams. A born communicator, she connects people through stories. She believes strongly in many things, including expensive sweatsuits, off-road vehicles, good books and bad TV. With her two cats, two kids and one husband, Whitney splits her time between Edmonds and Waterville, WA.