Life is full of tricky conversations. Cultural customs and taboos add an extra layer of sensitivity to discussions around health, death, medical decisions and money. But as time passes, these conversations become more important than ever. Decisions about end-of-life care, managing financial accounts and transferring assets are best made well in advance.

Some families are natural planners and have these conversations early and often. Sometimes it’s a more sensitive subject, especially as different generations can have disparate views of death and dying. These conversations are possible with some mindfulness and forethought. As financial advisors, we counsel families through these decisions every day. Here are the essentials for a productive and intentional conversation:

1. Choose the right time. Start the conversation when everyone involved is unhurried and at-ease. You might even schedule time to ensure you all have the mental space and capacity to be present. This can be a heavy topic, and it can often work well to follow the discussion with a pleasant family activity such as a shared meal, walk, etc.

2. Clarify the purpose of the discussion. Whatever your age or role in the conversation, you might say something like, “We’re discussing this today because I care about our family, and I want everyone to be okay.”

3. Make it a team effort. Remember that you are all on the same side and likely want the same things: certainty, clarity, and peace of mind. It’s not me vs. you, it’s us vs. material reality and mortality.

4. Set a goal for the conversation. That goal needn’t be so lofty as “Finalize Mom’s entire estate plan today.” It might be simply, “Raise the subject of a living will” or “Tell your loved ones who will be your health care agent.”

5. Start from a place of empathy. While you have your own goals and wishes for the conversation, place yourself in your loved one’s shoes. They might be feeling fearful, uncertain, or overwhelmed. Make space for those feelings.

The real gift of engaging in these conversations and having a thoughtful estate plan in place is not the financial benefits — it’s the emotional ones. When family members are grieving the loss of a loved one, having a clear plan in place spares them from stress and administrative tasks in the midst of their grief. A clear plan supports secure family dynamics and streamlines the process of transferring assets and fulfilling final wishes.

Ironing out this plan can be an intimidating task, but it doesn’t have to be. Find more holistic, easy-to-use estate planning tips in Comprehensive Wealth Management’s Estate Planning Fundamentals.

*Comprehensive Wealth Management, LLC does not offer tax or legal advice. Please consult your CPA or attorney for specific tax and legal questions.